poems of the past

 

It doesn't matter which words you use, it's the order in which you use them!


 

Focus and Dedication

Crystal Ball

Shinny Red Balloon

A Candle Lit Farm

L.A.

The Condom

Twenty Dollar Bills

Goblin in My Closet

My Brother

The Bottle of Beer

The Mirror

Follow the Bouncing Ball

Blank Faces

The Scarecrow

The Shot

 


 

Focus and Dedication

 

I've simplified our relationship

Represented by this celebration

I give to you, I promise you

Focus and Dedication

 

I was born with several skills in life

Like athleticism and wit

It allowed me to take advantage of

Situations that permit

 

I was raised to learn, to listen

To love, to list, to last

I was raised to keep moving forward

Yet, keep one hand still in the past

 

And though I won't forget my past

And surely never want to

It brings me to this point in life

Where what I want is you

 

I want you to be by my side

As we move on in life

I want you to be with me 

As partner, friend and wife

 

I want to walk down roads uncharted

Hand in hand together

I want to fight the fiercest winds

And other kinds of weather

 

I want to lie on beaches

Pristine and still untapped

I want to climb the mountains

Where fulfillment is entrapped

 

I want to walk the city streets

New York, Bangkok, Madrid

I want to meet the people

That would otherwise have hid

 

I want to roam the deserts 

To see what mirages we can find

I want to take reality

Imagery then combine

 

I want to fly in airplanes

Drive a car or walk

I want you right there by my side

So we can turn to talk

 

I'll defend with every breath I have

I'll lead with all foresight

I'll follow without question

And I'll hold you every night

 

I promise to tune my life with yours

Like ancient meditation

Today I'll be your husband

With Focus and Dedication

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Crystal Ball

 

For my seventh birthday

I received a crystal ball

The card that came along with it 

said "inside you can see all...

 

If you were to focus

on the star that is within

you could see your future

and where it will begin"

 

Though my hands were stained with chocolate 

from the birthday cake and pie

I grabbed that crystal ball of mine

and held it to my eye

 

I turned it to the left a bit

then spun it to the right

I searched for my tomorrow

throughout that birthday night

 

And as the clock struck midnight

and my eyes lids fell to close

with that crystal ball of mine 

I began to doze

 

But I was feeling nervous 

about my crystal ball

If my eyes were closed at night 

how could I see all

 

So, I placed that crystal ball of mine

upon a leveled shelf

right next to a picture

of a portrait of myself

 

And every night before I slept

I would stand up on a chair

I would grab that crystal ball of mine

and inside it I would stare

 

But I became frustrated

with that crystal ball of mine

Inside I saw just cloudiness

that star I could not find

 

Early in the morning

late one afternoon

I saw that crystal ball of mine 

fly across the room

 

Perhaps it was a reflex

perhaps it was mere force

Perhaps it was by birthday 

from which I must divorce

 

And as I sat there staring

at my fractured crystal ball

I finally saw that star of mine

yet could not see at all

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Shinny Red Balloon

 

Helium inflated 

String tied on tight

Vivid in expression

Color so bright

 

Mental miles traveled

On a Sunday afternoon

A child with his thoughts

And a Shinny Red Balloon 

 

Knowing not his father

Nor his mother nor his past

Looking for the image

Of the shadow he has cast

 

Alone without a friend 

Without family in the park

Fighting for forgiveness

Without vision after dark

 

Apology was given 

For not being what was wanted

A sentimental void

And forever will be haunted

 

Searching for the answers 

With hopes to find them soon

He waits without a word 

And his Shinny Red Balloon

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A Candle Lit Farm

 

Look at me now 

Searching for a candle lit farm

Caressing my past

Asking for forgiveness

Traveling for days

Asking this guy named "God" to help me out

No response though

Not really expecting any

Someone will offer their hand

Yes, I'll probably bite it

Lose all chance at success

Well, not all

It always works out in the end

Wait, is this one of those, those, those

Those things 

Where I grasp my heart in pain

feel my conscience strain

And give a lot for meaningless gain

I guess not huh

It's one of those voyage pieces

Inviting people to look on 

While I  search...

For a Candle Lit Farm

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L.A.

 

Gang Bangers on the side of the road

Tagging the freeway signs

and the sides of buses

Creativity?

Sure...

Logic? 

No Fucking way!

Make sure you've got your colors down

Sign language too

It means something you know

Fifteen bucks for a pistol

What a bargain

10 free bullets

A quick lesson in self defense

and seventeen years at the state pen

Parole?

Denied!

And by the way...

A Camaro is still a Camaro

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The Condom

 

Condom on the window sill

Textbooks on the floor

Life is full of nothingness

"Why" we must explore

 

Is it due to my opinions

that I am sitting all alone

Is it due to my behaviors 

that I am waiting by the phone

 

Have I burnt the bridges 

from the people in my past

When it comes to friendships 

will I be chosen last

 

When I turn my back

are there comments I don't hear

When someone tries to talk to me 

are their words sincere

 

If I said that I would change

would anybody care

If there was a funeral

would anyone be there

 

Is it worth my efforts

to try and make amends

Is it really possible

for me to make new friends

 

Is it even needed 

has hope been too abused

Will there ever be a reason

for the condom to be used

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Twenty Dollar Bills

 

A twenty dollar bill is all that I have saved

Jobless, homeless and I have become enslaved

by poverty

A senseless crime

The American youth wasting their time

with life

And all of its pursuits

Structured by equality and all of its recruits

of pain

And the suffering we endure

We're doing our best but we just can't find the cure 

for boredom

A relentless crime

Wondering what to do with our valuable time

and money

With which were seeking all our thrills

By stuffing all our pockets with twenty dollar bills

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Goblin in my Closet

 

There's a goblin in my closet 

but it won't come out to play

I've asked it what the reason was 

but it just would not say

 

Mommy won't believe me

and says goblins are not real

But I know that it's in there 

and all it does is steal

 

It stole my sock the other day

a green one with white lace

It vanished right before my eyes

all without a trace

 

Mommy says I lost it

but I know that is not true

'cause I left it in the closet

right next to my left shoe

 

But now I think about it

that shoe cannot be found

The goblin must have taken it

some night without a sound

 

And when I asked about it

from way across the room

The goblin did not answer me

it's shy I must assume

 

So every night before I sleep

I say a little prayer

One that is unique to me

and one that's very rare

 

I pray that it keeps warm at night

by wearing all my clothes

My earmuffs from last Christmas

and my green sock on its toes

 

And just before I close my eyes

there's one more thing to say

I hope that goblin in my closet 

will soon come out to play

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My Brother

 

Family values from father and mother

He is my friend and he is my brother

 

Up the stairs and down the hall

He'll trip your legs and make you fall

 

He'll laugh at you when your grades are bad

He'll push you down and make you mad

 

He'll hit you with a baseball bat

He'll chase you with the neighbor's cat

 

He'll take your pizza at Friday's lunch

He'll ask for one but take a bunch

 

He'll tell your friends that you're no good

He'll lie and say you're understood

 

He'll lock you out of his tree fort

He'll keep you off the B-ball court

 

But Then Again...

 

Down the stairs one leap, one bound

He'll catch you before you hit the ground

 

He'll praise you when your grades are up

He'll toast you with his beer filled cup

 

He'll brag about your winning ways

He'll listen on your tear filled days

 

He'll tell his friends that you're the best

He'll work hard to let you rest

 

He'll save the spot you left in line

He'll suffer while you're doing fine

 

He'll guide you if you're getting lost

He'll get the tab at any cost

 

Therefore...

 

As he moves on in his new life

With his new family and his new wife

 

I think about these simple things

and all that this one person brings

With all the good, the bad and other 

I'm proud to say that he's My Brother

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The Bottle of Beer

 

Two swallows left 

in the bottle of beer

an empty slate 

and a brand new year

 

New job, new friends, new home, new car

the makings of a superstar

 

Have you ever stopped to wonder

what would happen to a man

who had his life in order 

all according to his plan

 

Just think of his potential

and those he could impress

ability and talent

drive and success

 

Challenging the status quo

and the morally insecure

living on his confidence 

and the truth that bodes so pure

 

The character of integrity

self confidence and poise

the presence to seek out knowledge

and then to share its joys

 

And on this note so positive

his future is quite clear

the year is 1995

and we toast with a Bottle of Beer

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The Mirror

 

Doomed by his presence

condemned by his past

There are answers to my questions

but to know them they must be asked

 

I look into the mirror

and I wonder what I see

How much of it is him 

and how much of it is me

 

Based on the description

that was written on the page

I know about his height and weight 

his religion and his age

 

I read about his interests 

his education and his race

It listed his occupation

and the shades of his face

 

But what about emotion

does he share his deepest thoughts 

When he thinks about his future

does his stomach tie in knots

 

What about his anger 

does he keep it in control

When the stress is overwhelming

does the tension take its toll

 

What about his intellect

does he think well on his feet

Does he take on those who challenge him

and present them with defeat

 

What about his confidence

is he poised, bold and strong

When he walks into a room 

does he know he can't be wrong

 

Perhaps it is irrelevant

perhaps I should not care

Perhaps it is the damage 

of the mirror at which I stare

 

For it may be the reflection

that I'm afraid to see

Remnants of my father

and images of me

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Follow the Bouncing Ball

 

Follow the bouncing ball

 

People to people 

Place to place

Each has played their role

They've shaped the path 

I've chosen to take

and helped me reach my goal

 

Education, peace of mind

Progress as it's known

A Masters in Psychology

I have lived, loved, learned, and grown

 

And now that this landmark has been surpassed

And the past is well long gone

The future is in front of me

And the Bouncing Ball Bounces On...

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Blank Faces

 

The home town hero runs around the bases

The neighborhood kid trips on his laces

Mom's upset so Dad embraces

The gambling addict swears he'll get aces

The fastest girl wins her races

The prettiest flowers get the best vases

The host of the party buys more cases

Mister Wiggly says hop four spaces

For sex all night the couple paces

when the poet dies you'll see Blank Faces

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The Scarecrow

 

When I woke this morning

There was a Scarecrow in my bed

Its eyes were made of cotton

It had straw sewn in its head

 

Its ears were glued on solidly

With bubble gum and tin

It was listening as I slept at night

Recording every sin

 

It heard me bellow angrily

About the recent lies I've told

Some were white and painless

Others black and cold

 

They ranged from academic

To the matters of the Heart

I thought I had the answers

But it seems I'm not that smart

 

I've built up expectations

In those who've given trust

And now it seems they've crumbled

in a pile of transit dust

 

The Scarecrow's arms were stapled on

Its hands were made of steel

And like the devil had its due

It offered me a deal

 

"Write your words in pen and ink

Tell your story true

Offer those who visualize 

An image of the real you

 

If you shed this massive weight

And cleanse your soul complete

I will protect your simple self

And keep you on your feet

 

Fear not those who criticize

And hold you to this past

For those are not the ones you'll love

Nor the friendships that will last

 

Take some time to think about

The people that you've caused pain

Struggle with your using them

While keeping up your gain

 

Leave no trace, no stone unturned

As your journey must begin

Release the mighty wonder 

Of the secret safety-pin"

 

Yet this is not the forum 

But it's referenced in a poem

About a  young boy and his mother

Called 'The Voyage Back Home'

 

This is my distraction 

As my corn field awaits

I can't give you a timeframe

No days, no months, no dates

 

This is my decision 

No words, no post, no phone

Thank you for your patience

while the Scarecrow sleeps alone

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The Shot

 

If you look upon my mantle I can show you what I've got

A reminder of my efforts and the time I took my shot

 

It started in my childhood when I'd climb up in a tree

And beckon all the neighbor kids to come and look at me

 

I thrived on the attention from their beedie little eyes

As I stood upon my pedestal and spouted vagrant lies

 

When I watched TV at night, the violent  ones with stunts

I'd mimic all their actions, their flips and falls and grunts

 

I had myself a yearning to be on stage and screen

And be the center of attention and rolling in the green

 

All through adolescence as my reputation formed

I was hanging from the goalpost as I athletically performed

 

I never took advantage of the theatre in school

They new me as an athlete and drama wasn't cool

 

When it came to presentations, demonstrations and the such

My coaches didn't have to ask or beg or prod too much

 

Instead I would just volunteer to receive or give a gift

And I too would be chosen to perform a spirit lift

 

In school when there were role-plays as the teachers would demand

I would always be the first one to quickly raise my hand

 

Sometimes there was laughter and sometimes I heard cheers

But I always did feel comfortable standing among my peers

 

Sometimes I had critics who disliked my attitude

They told me that I'm cocky, self-centered, blunt, and rude

 

But I took these as compliments as my confidence was high

These people I think envied me and somehow wondered why

 

When I got to grad school my image was the same

Who's the guy with the self-esteem, the abs, the smile and game

 

I found myself near Hollywood, thirty miles south

Adventure waiting stimulus for eyes, ears, and mouth

 

Finally when I graduated four years down the road

I found myself unemployed and my life would soon explode

 

So I gathered up some courage, a credit card and time

I made a couple phone calls and then I wrote this rhyme

 

Dig down deep young traveler, as you've figured, formed and fought

Sir Oscar is for the taking... And then he took his shot

 

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